Jesse Holmes

Full Moon. Still hate it.

Watch last night, a night I usually work, be the last night this girl I've been hitting on has to go back to France. She's part fae I think and she was spending time with someone on the island. I thought she was my age but with the way fae age, it is hard to tell. She could just be humoring me. I don't know.

So Friday, is that art show. I guess the good thing is tail boy has been in the art studio. The bad thing, when he's in the room he bitches about doing his work. I will not be participating. I'm more of a physical person.

My parents called again like they usually do the night after the full moon. Diana is getting ready to go back to school. I had to remind her I've been at school all summer and I'd like to see her control her inner beast and made reference to that time of the month. I knew if I were there, she would have probably tried to beat me up.

I THINK HOMEWORK ATE ME! Yes, I actually been trying REALLY hard this semester. My theory is if I at least get B's in all my classes, Dad will get off my case about goofing off. Speaking of which, I finally paid my dad off so the money I'm earning is ALL mine. I really want to buy something nice with it but I'm not sure. I'll probably spend it on some video games. I have yet to play the new Final Fantasy game. I may get that. I'm also thinking of picking up rock band. If I get it, who would play in my band? I call drums! I sometimes wish I picked up a musical instrument so I could be in a rocking band. Oh well, I suppose I will just continue on to my career as a stand up comedian who eventually gets his own sitcom. I figured it would be a cliche theme of a story; a stand up comedian who turns into a werewolf. But the writing will be clever and I plan to win a couple emmys and move onto serious movies towards the end of my career. Sounds like a plan to me.

Ug. Just when I thought I settled into somewhat normalcy, I begin to get antsy again. I noticed that I have next week full moon circled, something I did every month. I already snapped at River several times this morning. He better understand if he continues to push me, I may just get violent. Yes, I get it... male PMS hyuck! Damn! It was only funny when I said it to Mom and Dad when they explained to me what I had become and even then, I only did it because I could slice the tension like a knife.

Apparently, dogs think I'm a puppy. I am not sure how I think about this.

Mom made such a huge deal about how my clothes didn't fit so well anymore. I have about a couple bags of new clothes that she bought for me. They're Mom clothes if you know what I mean. You know, the stuff moms get because she thinks there is no such thing as image. The jeans are okay but I got to break them in. You know how it is when you have that pair of jeans that are perfectly fit and they're comfortable. Well, I started to notice today how they're not as long on me as before and they are getting a little tight. My shirts are getting tight too, right around the chest. So maybe I don't need to start pumping iron like Charlie suggested. I'll just wear my small shirts and act like I'm big and buff. :D

Jokes aside, I may have to wear the shirts mom bought me... they aren't THAT bad since they're basic Old Navy I think. I guess it is a good thing to have a button down shirt for when I go out. You know, in case I have a hot date. I guess what bothers me is my old clothes are either the gay stuff I bought with Kissy (which I haven't touched) or stuff that sort of grew on me (even though I'm growing out of them). I just hate throwing things away.

Classes are going like classes do. I'm bored senseless. I like Basic Physical Combat though. I'm glad I signed up for it. But Math, Science, English? Ug! I'm not going to complain about Inner Beast Control because I think I need that class. I don't want to be put in jail because... I don't know, I'm just tossing it out there but someone eats all my cookies and doesn't repay me and it happens to be close to the full moon and I snap and kill them. I'm just not a school person.

( Private but Starbuck, Charlie, Kalli, and Sydni can read if they want )

How weird is it that I have my guide teacher's son as a roommate? I'm feeling rather combative at the moment. I think it is because it is so close to the full moon. I wonder if Wes would hate me if I punch River a few times?

I need to invest in a label maker.

I'm back for another semester. And this is the first time I've wanted to come back to school. It's amazing how different I feel compared to everyone else. I may only have lame abilities that I need to work on, for I'm only badass one night a week which is this week oddly enough.

I came back with a nice tan from spending a lot of time on the beach between running with Dad, cooking with grandma, and Grandpa taking me to various historical sites. There were quite a bit of good looking people at the beach but sadly I could not get myself to talk to any of them. The beach is better here anyway.

Looks like I will be hitting the gym with Charlie... working on my string-bean muscles so I will be irresistible to everyone... well probably not gay women or straight men but it's all good. I'm feeling oddly overly energetic right now, like I need to go running but that is probably because the full moon is this week. I wonder who I will end up teamed up with this month.

I think I may be slowly getting used to this whole werewolf thing.

Okay, I'm sick of my family. I'm ready to come back to Halcyon now.

Well, the weather is great here in Virginia. It is warm with a cool breeze off the ocean just to keep it real. I wasn't punished as heavily as I thought I would. It was actually a funny story, one I should tell my wolfy grandkids someday if I choose to reproduce because you know... me reproducing is like someone with a dominant genetic disease reproducing. HOLY CRAP! Something from Science stuck. That's insane! Thank you, Sydney!

Anyway, I step off the plane and I see Mom and Dad and Diana there to greet me. Mom hugged me just glad by the fact that she saw her pwecious widdle boy. Diana made the smart ass comment that my voice stopped cracking. Then I felt a tug at my lip. "What's this, boy?" It is NEVER a good sign when Dad calls me boy. I could see Diana getting comfortable for the show. But mom pissed on her parade, "Jon, can we discuss this elsewhere?" She did a double take herself but unlike dad, she doesn't fly off the cuff.

So we got in the car and it got really quiet. Now, Diana can't stand things being too quiet and neither can I. You combine this with a car and you got an insult contest. Nevermind I'm 15 and she's 18. We reverted back to being 10 and 7. She started to tease me about being bisexual and going through some rebellious phase. I told her how she was turning into a machine and soon she'll replace her Johnny Depp posters with George W. Bush posters. Then, it turned into wolf jokes. Dad, who has gotten used to ignore our arguments and only react when it turns physical, even shifted in his seat.

It finally turned into a dare contest. I said if she continued with insulting my race like that I may just bite her and make her one of us. She said, "Oh yeah, like you'd do that!" So I faked to bite her shoulder but due to the fact she was wearing a tee-shirt that resembled grandma's doilies she puts on the couch, with a tank top underneathe, my ring got caught. Both of us panicked and started to slap each other. Dad pulled over and forced us both out of the backseat. The jerking movement detached me from Diana in a not so less painful way. It's still tender. But Dad smoked both Diana and I on the side of the highway. He made that half our punishment.

The other quarter was to go to early church service with grandma on Monday (which I didn't know existed) followed by doing a list of chores (the other quarter).

To sum up, I'm never biting anyone even as a joke and I still don't understand original sin but it's fun to draw cartoon devils in the Bible. Hehe.

Dad also bought the silver piercing argument. Unfortunately, Dad took the rap from Grandma when she wondered by I "put holes through my head". He already gave the family the briefing that we weren't to tell Grandma and Grandpa about my condition so the story was I was allowed to get the piercing for good grades which was such a lie. Grandma suspects something though. I swear. She thought it was weird when I asked for my steak extra rare. She made some comment about me getting worms.

Grandpa is awesome except I'm not really looking forward for a History lesson when he's taking me to Yorktown for some granddad and grandson time to discuss how our family fought and died for this country. Blah. No doubt he'll add when I'll serve then talk about some WWII and Korean War story. Sometimes he gets them mixed up. One day, when he gets especially senile, I expect him to talk about how Hitler got rid of the Jews in Korea. Dad hasn't told me a cover story yet on what I should say when I'll enlist.

So things are going okay. Let me know if anyone wants some sort of cheap souvenir from Virginia

I'm so glad this week is almost over! Between work and school, I had almost no time to beat the game I'm playing on my computer. To top that off, I have only gone running once this week. I swear, I gained a quarter of a pound. OH NOES! I think I passed everything, or so I hope. I'm still worried about Science and Supernatural History.

Diana has been pestering me with texts all week. I think she's bored. West Point sure kept her busy. Most of her pestering have been some sort of wolf joke. None have been very funny. I asked her to ask mom the hypothetical if I got something pierced. Diana texted me back saying, "I hope u got pierced somewhere hidden." I told her where I did get it pierced and she said she was going to get front row seats. I miss home a little I guess. Virginia should be a nice break. I can't wait to hit the beach assuming dad doesn't punish me too hard.

I can't believe my first semester at this school is practically over. The full moon was last week as I'm sure most of you know. You probably could hear us all howling and calling at the moon on Friday. I caught SOMETHING on Friday. I think it was a rabbit but I couldn't be too sure. I'm always paranoid I'm going to change back to normal on the morning of the full moon and find a human head next to me... or a horse's head like in the Godfather. Even so, I'm pretty sure I wasn't the one who made the mess! By the way... this time, this wasn't the time in which I got used to it. But it was closer, that's for sure.

On Saturday, dad and mom called and I worked out a payment plan. I essentially work 15-18 hours a week. I make about 7 dollars an hour. So I give him about 30 dollars a week which is about 1/3 of what I own. Oh man, sometimes I wish my dad weren't so systematic. The good news is they want me to come with them for the break. The only thing is dad said he doesn't want me to go home home. It's funny because Arizona was my favorite place I lived while Germany did have its moments. I miss walking in the desert. What's even more amusing that possibly the two most traumatic points in my life happened there and I loved it there. I know this sounds really stupid but I can kind see how some of the Native Americans saw it as sacred.

No, dad wants me to come spend his leave with the family in Virginia with my grandparents. This means I will spend much time on the beach most likely which should be okay. I'm sure though that my dad will want me to be as vague as possible about school. That's always hard because Grandma is one of those sweet little old ladies that remind me of a small puppy that you can't lie to... especially when she makes you cookies. I don't know how she'd react to the fact her favorite grandson (I'm her only) is a bisexual werewolf. I'm looking forward to grandpa's BBQ steak. He's always grilling something up. My mouth is watering just thinking about it!

Oh yeah, I got a lip ring. I made a deal with the guy who works in the Kiosk across the street from me at the mall. Now I'm hoping Grandma doesn't have a heart attack. I don't really care what my parents say. I think it looks cool.

Work is okay so far. My boss is kind of crazy and I still can't get over the blood-flavored ice cream!

So it isn't so bad working for an ice cream shop. I don't like the fact that I have to wear an ugly pink apron but the job itself isn't so bad. I just feel very sticky afterwards. From the ICE CREAM! I had to emphasize because I know how dirty you guys tend to think. Did you know they have blood flavored ice cream? I tried some. It isn't half bad. Then again, it is the week of the full moon and I find my craving for bloody meat goes through the roof. I could eat my weight in meat right now. I'm drooling a la Homer Simpson right now. Damn. I shouldn't have mentioned it.

I also get really antsy. I went for a run last night after work. I miss track a lot. I was really good at it. I did make varsity at my old school even though dad pulled me off the team when I brought home a progress report of a D in English and History. Then, that November, I got bitten so I never really got the chance to get back on the team.

I can run so much faster now. I bet I would be at a strong advantage against normal people back home. I probably could outrun dad. Then again, he is an old man. I probably could outrun Diana... which isn't a challenge because she is a girl. I could definately outrun that tool of a junior at my school back home, Gregory Van Leglan. He had so many metals, it would make my dad's class-A's look like a private's class-A's.

So I wonder who I will be paired up with tomorrow night and I wonder if tomorrow will be the day I realize that it wasn't so bad.

I don't know though. I could use some of Miss Ellrona's cookies about now. Those were really good.

Oh yeah, it really doesn't help that I work across the way in the mall from a Piercing pagoda esque kiosk. I really want to get a piercing...

Holy crap! These are awesome cookies! And they're addictive too. The more I eat, the more I feel like I'm floating on a cloud feeling absolutely calm. I practically feel stoned... not that I would know what that was like or anything.

So I went to that witch who I can't pronounce the name of and I'm way too lazy to look it up to see if I was cursed or not. Apparently, she said there was no possibility of it. Maybe the truth thing but not the other thing and man I can't be specific at all.

Anyway, I guess the bottom line is... HAHA. I totally forgot it for a second. Okay, I guess the bottom line is, I'm probably a little gay. Like that Chinese girl said in my journal like a 2 or a 3 or something. I have to look at it more closely.

Man, these cookies are awesome. I should see if she could give me some during that time of the month. I won't feel as anxious.

Oh man, I only have one left. :(

I'm so screwed. I overdrafted my bank account that is a joint account with my dad from my shopping spree last week. Dad found out about it yesterday and smoked me over the phone. You'd think I could cheat a little. No, the man can see over great distances, I swear. Whenever I rested on my stomach, he yelled at me to do the excercize properly. My arms are still shaking from the push ups and my lower abs and my thighs kill from the flutter kicks.

So the Colonel decided to pay the overdraft fee but he won't give me any money for at least six months. I have to get a job. Back home, I did chores for money but since I'm not HOME, I can't do that. I suppose I can start at the mall. I want to get a job at the arcade but I have the unfortunate problem of being 15. There is no job that a 15 year old could get that isn't disgusting, repetitive, and humiliating.

I'm broke and confused. It is such a sucky combination. I think I agree with Starbuck... he thinks I was cursed to act that way but that makes it even MORE tricky. I knew I could not stop telling the truth so does that mean I'm gay and I lied to myself all these years? After "extensive research," I do like women. Men... I don't know. I don't know if it is a memory from last week or it was part of myself that I lied to myself about.

Luckily the Colonel didn't bring it up again when I told him that I think I was cursed. He thinks it was someone trying to humiliate me because the nature of it. Of course, he is no curse expert. He was just trained to get inside the minds of the enemy.

So anyone know of anyone that is hiring?

I'M NOT LEAVING MY ROOM EVER AGAIN!

So something good happened right after something bad. I spoke to my parents today at lunchtime like usual. Then, like word vomit, I just came out. Just like that. I told mom and dad I was gay. For a long time, they didn't say anything (they both get onto different phones in the house when they talk to me). Finally, dad said, "I don't believe you. I know you don't feel like you fit in and all, but that is not the way to do it." I said it didn't make me suddenly popular. He told me that he saw my magazines and there was that one time he caught me looking up pics online of Kiera Knightley and Angelina Jolie (focusing on her boobs really) and other actresses and that there were no "signs". I wasn't gay. I was faking it. It was totally stupid! Then mom, like she usually is, tried to compromise, "Jess, you know we love you no matter what and I know that teen years are very confusing, but please be honest with yourself!" I told her I never been more honest in my life. She didn't believe me. Then it turned into a bunch of yelling and ended with me hanging up and throwing the phone across the room. The battery fell out and I didn't bother putting it back in because I knew they would try to call me back. Screw them. So what if they were the only consistant aspect of my life? I love mom and dad, don't get me wrong but they just don't GET IT.

But my day got better when I realized that CHARLIE IS TAKING ME TO THE DANCE! I'm so excited! I can't stop blushing! The only thing it isn't a date just the two of us hanging out. I wish it were more.